Copacetic

Darren asked people to write about their most serious injury as one of his 55 posts I hope you write" , so here you go Darren, be careful what you wish for.

I jumped through a plate glass window when I was younger, severing my femoral artery and puncturing my lower bowel with several pieces of glass. I was operated on that night ( a full midline laparotomy for those of you who are medically inclined), I was in intensive care for 5 days and spent 6 weeks in hospital after that. I lost a shed load of blood (I got 12 pints via transfusion) and had a catheter stiched onto my prick while I was sleeping, and when I woke up I had about 30 tension sutures stretched across my belly, which trust me, you don’t want to wake up to. I was also attached to the machine that goes bing.

The whole thing hurt like hell ( I now have a good idea what it feels like to be bayoneted), and pretty much had nothing to redeem it. I now have a killer scar running from just above my pubic bone to below my sternum and a nice ice breaker at dinner parties.

So this neatly segues into no. 55 on Darren’s list The only thing I can teach you is, don’t jump through a plate glass window, ever.